Hi Everyone!
A lot has happened in the last 3 months since I wrote.
I think I’ve been feeling a bit too overwhelmed to write!
So, I have moved to Brookyln, to Ft Greene.
I LOVE it here. I love my apt and all of the space and light. I love my neighborhood which is quieter and slower paced than NYC but still offers so much to do, see and certainly eat!
I don’t even mind my 12, yes exactly 12, minute walk to the subway. It is a nice walk, not like walking along loud,crowded 2nd ave or something. I actually get to walk through Ft Greene park on my way to and from work. So the walk is actually a positive experience as opposed how I usually feel walking through NYC. Basically, that would entail me walking as fast as humanly possible to get out of the crazy NYC crowds, frenetic energy, and chaos. Not fun. It’s nice to actually decompress from that feeling now when I get off the subway in Ft Greene.
So, since I last wrote I have attended about 10 or 11 births. A lot in 3 months! I have been having a hard time trying to figure out what/how to write about them. Birth work is intense. Being a doula requires presence and commitment and passion for helping a woman have an empowering birth experience. However, it can be draining and exhausting and depleting when I’m not in my clear/focused/energetic state. I have never been one to stay up late, certainly not stay up all night, EVER. So now that I am finding myself up and working for 24 hrs sometimes, I am being challenged and pushed out, way out of my comfort zone. It is forcing me to examine why I am doing this and how in the world I can make this work sustainable. I’m human. When I have not slept enough, I get cranky and irritable. So, how do I meet my own needs as best as possible and take care of myself while I’m supposed to be there completely for someone else? Or how do I be there completely for someone else, when my own basic needs are not being met by me? Hmmm good questions. I don’t know the answers yet. But I do know this… I took on too much. I was so excited that couples/moms wanted to work with me and excited to jump into this new line of work so I said YES to everybody. Now that I have a bit of a birth break and some perspective, I realize I need to do less… less births. If I’m going to do this work and do it full out with full commitment and total presence, I need more recovery time for myself after each birth. I need time to process each birth emotionally and certainly physically. I need more space between births so I am not constantly on call and I can’t pull more than 1 or 2 all nighters a month. SO, I’m learning. It’s a process.
I mean, it’s not like this is the only thing I do. I’m still teaching pilates/yoga and Alexnader Technique, trying to balance that work as well. I’m also the regional leader for Off the Mat, Into the World in NYC. http://www.offthematnyc.com/Off_the_Mat_NYC/_.html There is a lot of work I want to put into that. I’m also wanting to get some more training in many fields I’m involved in. (I looooove learning and doing trainings:) )
So, to be continued… next on my list, figure out my 2011 calendar!
I hope you are all well.
xo Heather